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Dear Jerry Saltz, I read your Instagram post about singing “Jolene”. Well, I’m not in school any longer, graduation was a LONG time ago, but I thought I’d try it anyway with a little twist. Here are the lyrics I wrote sung to the tune of “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. (For those of you who don’t know, Jerry Saltz is a very famous art critic in New York.)

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
I’m beggin’ for a positive critique
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
Please give me a positive critique

My corporate jobs were excruciating
My anxiety was elevating
Art ‘s the only job for me, Jerry.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
I’m beggin’ for a positive critique
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
Please give me a positive critique

My husband’s patience is running out
No matter how I cry and pout
Art ‘s the only job for me, Jerry
I had to sing this song for you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to say, Jerry

The wallpaper is peeling off
The basement leaks in many spots
It’s raining and I’m goin’ down to mop
Now, I’m grateful for my mild success
I sometimes even get a check
But it’s not enough to pay my share of bills

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
I’m beggin’ for a positive critique
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
Please give me a positive critique

Jerry, Jerry, Jerr-eee-eee-ee

Here is the link to the video of me singing acapella: https://youtu.be/x1AJBo_Hly4

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